Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Sunday, March 9, 2014
There are time, in fact we always hope for the best but prepare for the worst. That is, if we’re well adjusted, and are living an emotionally healthy life. Not that I don’t often struggle with “the next right thing to do”, or that I always have the best emotional outlook upon everything. None of us are perfect, but some of us are further along the “path of enlightenment” than others. In this category five storm that has been my life for about the past three years, I’ve certainly been driven “underground” emotionally, and I know that I am shell shocked, suffer form post traumatic stress about every other emotional dysfunction there is. Even though I conduct my life from inside of a bomb shelter, figuratively speaking, that doesn’t prevent me from occasionally coming up with the correct emotional path to follow, as I did this week, coming to Lexington to be with my boys over this first reunion since Jonathon (my son) entered rehab last October. Even though I thought I had some idea, as we’ve been fighting our Son’s addiction for six years, I didn’t. Anyone who has addicted children know how absolutely insane life can get. Just when you thought you’ve seen it all, or that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they do, and by multiples of one hundred percent. So when my ex-wife, Katie and my son Jonathon planned their trip to Lexington to see our grandson, and my son’s son, I approached it all with grave caution, hope for the best but certainly prepared for the worst. And the worst in this case I knew could get pretty darn ugly. My little immediate family consists of my son, my ex-wife, my grandson, Carter, and his mom Chelsea. Out Son’s recent excursion “off the deep end” sent everybody running for emotional shelter as we watched our loved one crash into behaviors that were so hurtful and unbecoming and so potentially life threatening. I had no idea how this weekend would go, but I had in mind a spectrum of possibilities from very positive all the way down to the unthinkable. Jonathon has been struggling greatly trying to prepare himself from the damages the substances caused, so as we sat in our hotel room waiting for Chelsea (who had long since ceased to even talk to my son) an d Carter, his son, to arrive. He was beside himself, so nervous, yet so excited to see his little toddler son. I had become worried about my son and his relationship with Carter. I didn’t know if he would remember my Son that well, or if he would be so cautious as to hurt my son’s feelings, heaping more wreckage weight upon Jonathon’s shoulders.. Passing the floor of the small room, suddenly the knock on the door came and when Jonathon pushed it wide open, there stood little two foot high Carter. As the boys gazed upon each other, Carter had a moment of puzzlement on his face, then broke into the biggest most beautiful smile ever contorted in the Universe, as Jonathon bent over to embrace little his son, little carter laughed in happiness, and my son started to cry tears of Joy I’ve never seen in my son. The last time my Jonny had seen Carter, he couldn’t walk or talk. When Carter leaped out of Jonny’s embrace, he ran down the hallway of the hotel shouting the words “Daddy!!”, and none of us could hold back our tears.
The weekend has proceeded far beyond my wildest expectation. Even Chelsea, who we didn’t expect to even speak to Jonny really came around. After three days of watched this little family, Jonathon, Carter and Chelsea play and laugh together, I am reminded how much good is left in Gods Universe for me… for us. I know the kids have a long long way to go, and there is much forgiveness and much learning and growth to occur before they can even know for sure if they will get back together. But if they could just remain happily separated, that would be far far more than I had hoped for. To see them so happy and so engaged with little Carter is just simply the most beautiful thing I have ever ever seen in my lifetime. I couldn’t’ hope to experience a more joyful time, or events as I have in the past 72 hours. And I Thank and Praise God for every ounce of it.