A Windy Walk

The Moon of the New Snow is past full and is now waning. It was a windy day, warm and overcast… more like spring than late autumn.

This is my week off from chemo, so today I felt pretty good – 5 days removed from my last dose. It is very odd; how weak I am…. I mean, physically unconditioned. I have never been so weak. I went for a walk in the woods today, and it was wonderful, despite the fact that I had to stop and rest a great deal. The wind in the tree crown was marvelous, and fallen leaves were adrift everywhere. I do love this time of year.

As the days go by, I become less and less afraid of dying. Not that I am going to, but It certainly is not given that I will survive this… Strange how we go though phases…. I think now, beyond a great desire to live to be an old man, I think that I am more afraid of being really sick than actually dying.